


What Happens In The Bathroom

by thatmichaelgirl (SupernaturalMystery306)



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Ashton is awesome, BATHROOMS xD, Calum has a crushhh, Cute customers, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Luke is really shy or something like that, M/M, Michael has really weird moments but he's cute so whatever, Michael is in denial, Multi, OOOH OOOH OOOH WAITERS, Orgies- kind of...?, Really cute ones, Sassy people, So does Michael tbh, Valentine's Day, Waiter Calum, Waiter Michael, YMAS references, cuz you would pity me, do brains speak?, idk what else to tag here, it's actually more like a cafe+restaurant thing, my idea of smut is cryworthy crack, oh and i suck at writing smut, oh wow baseball bats, the advantage is early access, the sad crying bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-05
Updated: 2015-05-05
Packaged: 2018-03-28 23:05:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3873169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupernaturalMystery306/pseuds/thatmichaelgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>He knows that Calum likes him, hell, he's pretty obvious. But, after all, at the beginning of this arrangement they agreed that it was nothing more than a waiters with benefit relationship. And anyway, it's not like the black haired boy can complain, what with his staring at that dimpled beauty.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Happens In The Bathroom

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hoodie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hoodie/gifts), [li_love_laugh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/li_love_laugh/gifts).



> Soooooo, I started this months ago, after I had the idea in June 2014. But I only continued with this after talking about it with my friend, Hoodie. (I'm sure a lot of you know how friendly we are with each other.)
> 
> I was planning to make this a bomb with all the smut, but I realized pretty soon I suck at writing smut. And it turns out 5SOSot4 thinks I'm amazing at it so I kinda feel guilty.
> 
> I was initially going to gift it to Hoodie after he told me to write something long (unlike my 800 word stories). And then I didn't, because it's weird to gift every single story to the same person. (Sorry!)  
> So I was going to post it without any gift receiver.  
> Then right now, I thought, why not gift it to 5SOSot4. But I felt really sad, because this was basically possible because of Hoodie. So I am gifting this to both of them. :P
> 
> Oh, and special thanks to- you guessed it, _Hoodie_. XD He was awesome by helping me with something.
> 
> 5SOSot4, you make up an impression of me, kay? I. Suck. At. Writing. Smut. But I make great (friends told me) covers. XD
> 
> And I was too damn confused about the cover so I put up two. Like whichever one you want to like, y'all. :'D
> 
> On with the story!!!

* * *

 

Everyday they're there. The cute blonds. One with glasses, the other with that lip ring. Oh how Michael would want to bite that during sex.

He knows that Calum likes him, hell, he's pretty obvious. But, after all, at the beginning of this _arrangement_ they agreed that it was nothing more than a waiters with benefit relationship. And anyway, it's not like the black haired boy can complain, what with his staring at that dimpled beauty. Ashton. That was his name, wasn't it?

Yeah….. and his own name is Michael.

He can’t wait for the day Blondie #1 and 2 will scream it, writhing under him.

_“Michael, oh Michael, right there, fuck fuck fuck fuck RIGHT THERE-”_

“Dude why do you have a boner?” Michael yelps, jumping slightly, because what the hell, Calum wants to give him a heart attack.

“Ehh, because I have a dick? And, I’m thinking of sexy lads under me so it’s bound to happen.” The moment he says this, Michael realizes his mistake. As much as he doesn’t have romantic feelings towards the raven haired boy, he’s still Michael’s friend. And Michael is not a heartless bastard who preys upon people’s affections.

“Does it have anything to do with those two blonds there?” Calum indicates the people in question with his chin.

It’s weird how Calum doesn’t care that he’s obsessed with Ashton and his guy. It’s like, ‘dude, I’m chill with you eye fucking multiple people at once’. Michael finds it fascinating.

(Not really.)

“Maybe.” Michael says, because he knows there’s no use arguing with the Kiwi boy.

“One of these days they’re going to realize that you’re a stalker who gets hard ons from looking at them.”

Smirking, MIchael replies back, “I’m a stalker who doesn’t know their names. And you’re a not-at-all-stalker guy who knows their names.”

Calum flushes, because it’s true. It was _Calum_ who told Michael the curly haired boy’s name was Ashton. “Shut up, I just know Ashton’s name!”

‘Ashton’ chooses that moment to look up, at the mention of his name. _Guess we were a bit loud_ , Michael thinks. Walking up to the counter, his companion following, the curly haired boy smiles widely. “Hey Calum, can I get the espresso for myself, and a latte for my friend here?”

The friend ducks his head, smiling shyly. And _oh_ , Michael could die. Such adorableness should be _illegal_. And so should the hotness, because really, did the guy _have_ to bit his lip, looking at them through his lashes, even though he’s at least two inches taller than Michael?

Nodding, Calum disappears through the back, and after some time, returns with the orders.

While he had been doing this, Michael had been wiping down the counters, catching little snippets of Ashton and Hot Stranger’s conversation, who had walked back to their usual table to sit down.

“...oh come on Lukey, it’s okay, it’s _normal_ , don’t worry....”

Michael wonders what’s normal.

“...but, you… I don’t get it. _Why_ and _how_ can I even think about it if you’re with-” Hot Stranger- _Lukey_ \- cuts himself off, when he realizes that Michael has been listening to the conversation.

Michael curses, because really, did he have to stare so fucking directly? Where’s the art of subtlety, Calum would ask.

And of course, that was the moment when Calum reappears, all smiles and crinkly eyes, and puts down the two paper cups in front of the customers, who thank him and getting up from their seats, walk out of the shop.

Calum turns to him and smirks, the message clear in his eyes, _you so wanna fuck them_.

And when Michael flips him off and says, _you do too_ , and Calum blushes, he wonders if he’s not alone in wanting these boys.

***

It’s one of those days, when the shop is so fucking full, that all the baristas are at their wits’ end. And Michael is no exception.

There is a couple on Table no. 17, and they’ve done nothing but take ages to think up their order. Which means that Michael has to wait at their table for ages. Which means Michael has to get bored to death while pretending not to be. And it’s not helping that the lady is staring at her partner like she wants to blow him right in the middle of the shop, and the man bloody well knows this. It’s obvious from the way he smirks and sends her a _look_ back.

It’s also not fair that it’s February 14, which means- hearts and candies are flying around in the air and Michael knows the only date he’s gonna have tonight is with his hand. Right or left, he fucking doesn’t care.

Calum stops by, offering a smile to the couple, and the lady finally stops eye fucking her catch of the evening long enough to gawk at the black haired boy. And wow, even Michael does. Because Calum Hood? Looks as delectable as the pastries they’ve been serving all evening as a Valentine’s Day special.

The man gets irritated quickly, and orders some fancy, expensive food. Something he was unable to do for the past- Michael checks his watch- twenty minutes. Probably to get Calum away from his woman, Michael thinks, smirking wryly. But Michael can’t really blame the man, not when he himself thought Calum looked fuck-worthy. _Fuckable_. Michael snorts, because really, making up your own words is much better than using the plain old ones.

Making his way over to the black haired boy, he whispers in his ear, “All dolled up Hood? What for? _Who_ for, should I say?” And just for the heck of it, he adds an extra eyebrow wiggle to the wink.

“Not _you_ , definitely,” Calum replies back, smirking. Michael pouts, because he really wants to fuck. Not just Calum in particular. He just wants someone who’d rid him of his miserable one-man-sex-marathon-filled evening.

He says so, which just causes Calum to laugh at him and walk away. Michael curses his inability to have sex with anyone he pleases, the way some people can.

***

It’s been a few hours since the whole incident, and business has finally slowed down enough that the employees can take small five minute breaks.

Ryland goes first, claiming he needs a quick call with his girlfriend, who is stuck in Cali, attending some weird family function. They all smirk, because _hello_ , everybody knows what phone sex is.

12 minutes and 37 seconds later, he comes back, flushed, and Michael rolls his eyes. No stamina.

Out in the main room, Calum had been taking orders. Michael wonders if Luke- apparently ‘Lukey’ was a term of endearment- and Ashton are there, or if they have their respective girlfriends out on a date. Or, gosh, their _boyfriends_.

What? A guy can dream.

Pushing past another worker, he goes out. And what he sees is so not what he was expecting. Calum is talking to a stranger. Not talking, fucking _flirting_ , with some guy who looks like he’s on drugs. And Michael’s friend is bending down now, giving the guy a great view of that ass. And if he had been a girl, boobs would have been seen too.

Michael’s had enough. He doesn’t know why he does it, but he does it. He walks over to the table, and grips Calum’s hips just as he stands back up.

“Cal, honey, what are you doing?” he asks, sickly sweet. Inside, he is boiling. And Calum seems to realize it, the way he shivers. And into his ear, Michael whispers, “You, me, in the bathroom, in six”, and walks away, because he knows that even though the other boy was flirting with the punk, he wouldn’t refuse him. He would always come.

***

And he does.

Exactly six minutes and 15 seconds later, the door to the bathroom opens. Shutting it behind himself, Calum walks to stand in front of Michael, before he is roughly pulled into a kiss.

The kiss is short, and rough. Michael doesn’t waste time. He maneuvers them both towards one of the stalls, before pushing them inside, and locking the door. Pushing the other boy down to his knees, he looks, hungrily.

“Slutting up to that fuckass, huh, Hood? Really that desperate for some cock up your ass?”

Calum’s eyes glaze over, mouth falling open in a silent sound. Michael looks down, and yeap, Calum Hood is carrying a fucking baseball bat in his pants.

He grips his hair tightly “I asked you something. I expect an answer.”

This time, there’s no mistaking the long drawn out sound as anything but a moan. “No Mikey, no. I just, _uhh_ , okay. N- _yes_. So what if I did?” he goads.

Michael doesn’t answer. Instead, he pulls down the fly of his jeans, and motions to the raven haired boy to hurry the fuck up.

Calum leans forward eagerly, shifting, before he wraps his lips around Michael’s cock.

(Going commando has its advantages.)

“Fuck!” the lavender haired boy swears, as his member gets engulfed in wet heat.

Calum hums around him, before he begins to suck in earnest. Michael lets his head thump back against the wall, not caring that his moans are probably heard by the whole place. A part of him that actually understands the meaning of words such as ‘shame’ knows that they could be heard. Another part argues that the music outside is too loud for anyone to hear them. And even if they are heard, who are the others to care? Voyeurs, each one of them. The black haired boy is enthusiastic, and it thrills Michael to see a thing of beauty such as Calum on his knees for him. For Michael. Only for Michael.

Michael’s grip falls away from Calum’s hair, only for his fingers to card through it.

It’s hard to think when someone’s blowing you as if you’ve got the best lollipop to offer them, but Michael can think. All he can think is how he really adores the boy in front of him. Ideally, if Calum’s skills were that good he wouldn’t be thinking but it’s about the black haired boy so it’s okay. Right?

Right.

It doesn’t even matter. Anything that Calum does is good.

He doesn’t know why he even distances himself away from Calum. In the workplace, they’re practically best friends.

He doesn’t want either of them to get hurt due to misplaced affections.

And that’s exactly why he tells himself that he and Calum are never going to work out.

Still, he feels hurt whenever he thinks of how he’ll never be the one to wake up beside him, sing him to sleep, do anything other than just _fucking_.

He loves him.

Time slows down, and the fire in his belly grows, keeps growing, until it’s too much, and the earth stops spinning.

He comes with a shout, most of it landing inside Calum’s mouth, and some even painting his face. _Amazing, fucking beautiful_ , Michael thinks.

He rides out his orgasm, lightly fucking Calum’s mouth, before Calum pulls off of him with a pop. Wiping his mouth against his hand, the boy stands, stumbling a little.

Tucking himself back in and zipping up his jeans, Michael opens his mouth, ready to praise him, when he hears the distinct sound of kissing.

They both freeze, looking at each other with a scared expression. _Fuck_ , they could lose their jobs. Calum curses, whispering how he forgot to lock the door.

But Michael? He starts laughing soundlessly. He may have been terrified at the prospect of losing the one job which he likes, hell, losing _Calum who he likes_ , but he sees it. Even scared, he doesn’t miss the hilarity of the situation. His shoulders shake, and bouts of laughter wrack his body. Calum looks at him incredulously. With one fluid motion of the hand, he unlocks the door of the stall and walks out.

He sees Luke and Ashton kissing.

No, not just kissing. Goddamn _making out_ as if their lives depend on it.

Michael stands, stock still, before Ashton notices him and pulls away from Luke. And Luke is another story. The poor boy’s jaw drops, and he stumbles back, moving away to stand behind Ashton, whose eyes are dancing with amusement.

“Well well, what’s this?” Calum questions, finally getting out of the stall. “Hi Luke, Ashton.” he says obliviously, and Michael feels annoyed, because really, when did Calum get to know Luke’s name?

“Hi Calum!” Ashton replies cheerfully, and oh god, how the boy doesn’t get embarrassed is so beyond his level of understanding.

“So,” Michael breaks in before Calum starts BFFing up with the blonds, “What did I walk in on?”

Luke mumbles something, which causes Ashton to dissolve into giggles.

“What was that?”

Luke finally looks up, a tiny smirk forming on his pretty mouth, “What we walked in on.” The smirk only widens when Calum starts sputtering.

“You.. you did - you. Wha-? No no. We did not kiss. You didn’t walk in on us kissing.”

“One, I’m pretty sure you did kiss. Two, we walked in on you _sucking him off_ , and three, you have some cum on your face, fyi.”

Calum pales, before an embarrassed whine makes its way out of his throat.

Luke laughs, smirk widening, “Chill dude, I’m kidding. You did a pretty good job of cleaning up for someone without a mirror.”

It’s more important for Michael to know when Calum cleaned himself up. “Why?” he whines, “You looked pretty like that.” And to add to that, he pouts.

“Shut up, Gordon.” Calum turns his head away. Michael is pretty sure he’s blushing.

“Awh, but, but, but, you looked _pretty_. You looked so cute. All marked up, all miiiiiine.”

Calum shudders exaggeratedly. Michael tells himself it isn’t an exaggeration.

“ _Dude,_ what the _fuck_?” Luke finally speaks up since his smirking comment, “Can you not?”

Michael blinks, “What?” because he’s pretty sure someone like _Luke_ would not snap at him.

“Can you not act all lovey and shit with Calum?” And now Michael’s even more annoyed, because why did both Ashton and Luke know Calum’s name but not his?

Also, who the fuck is Luke to tell him how to act towards Calum? He opens his mouth to defend himself, but he doesn’t get a chance as Luke once again starts speaking, “You _know_ , you fucking know that he likes you and-” And Luke goes on to insult Michael and how he’s playing with Calum’s feelings.

And Michael’s patience is wearing thin.

“ _Shut the fuck up_.” he finally explodes, “You do not know me, or Calum, or my intentions with him, or _our_ intentions with _each other_. So don’t try poking your nose in other people’s businesses. Just ’cause you’re pretty doesn’t mean that-”

Again, Luke opens his mouth.

“Luke, calm down love,” Ashton finally intervenes, - and the boy actually does, he deflates like a damn balloon, looking at Michael apologetically - “Mikey doesn’t do that on purpose.”

“You know my name?” Michael blurts out, before he can stop himself, and he feels himself turn red under three sets of eyes.

“Course we do, you’re hot,” the curly haired boy smirks.

“Very, very hot,” Luke adds his two cents to the conversation (apparently he forgot that he had been accusing Michael of being an ass not too long ago), before looking at Ashton, a panicked expression firmly etched onto his face.

Ashton sighs, rolls his eyes. A tiny smile forms on Calum’s face.

 _Left ouuuuuuut~_ , Michael hears his brain say. Then Michael gets confused because brains don’t speak. They don’t. Do they?

Anyway.

He pays attention to the people in front of him.

“Luke, sweetheart, I told you from the very beginning,” Ashton’s tone is serious, not like the way he had been talking up til now, “It’s okay, I get it. You just want a bit of fun, and I get it. Even I do. You’re not in this alone, yeah? It’s okay. Being attracted to people is okay. And that too, I know, is just physical. Sorry, Mikey and Cal, you guys are nice though. But still, I know that you love _me_ , Luke, just _me_. And it’s completely simple. It’s completely nor-”

And Michael remembers. _...oh come on Lukey, it’s okay, it’s normal, don’t worry...._ He remembers.

“‘It’s normal’, huh?” Michael smirks, glad to be able to watch the tall blond flush once again. _Red is such a good color on him._

However, Ashton ruins it, “Yes, it’s completely normal to be attracted to hot as fuck people.” Well, not completely ruined, maybe even bettered, because Luke flushes even more.

“Don’t worry, princess, Ashton is right, it’s _normal_.” Michael leers, finally coming up behind him, before proceeding to nip at the back of his neck.

Luke shudders, all traces of cockiness gone, and stutters out, “U-uh, it’s no-oot” his voice breaks off, as a moan rips its way past his throat. Apparently being called 'princess' is a kink. Interesting. Very, very interesting.

“Yes it is,” and Michael continues to worry the skin between his teeth till he finally hears-

“Okay, _fuck_ , fine. It’s normal!”

Michael shares a look with Ashton and Calum, as Luke slides down to his knees, similar to the position Calum had been in not long ago.

Ashton nods.

Calum just looks on with a blank expression, but Michael sees the appreciation and approval in his eyes, clear as day.

Michael is gonna have fun.

***

Afterwards, he remembers something, “Wait, you know my name?”

Calum smiles sadly, “Of course they do, Michael, it’s not like I talk about anyone else.”

Michael stares for a moment, unblinking, and the next, he’s devouring Calum Hood’s face.

Finally pausing for air, he says, “You both,” he indicates Ashton and Luke, “may be fun and all. And you’re actually awesome people. I’d like to get to know ya and all, but my one true love? ...Yes I’m being cheesy. That’s Calum. My one true love is Calum. I’m not gonna say I didn’t enjoy our time right now, because I _did_. Oh, and maybe, just _maybe_ , I’d like a repeat. But still, I love Calum. Just Calum. Calum Bloody-fucking-amazing-blower Hood.”

This time, it’s Calum who initiates the kiss.

***

And they all go and face the music- quite literally, because someone thought Love Me Like You Do would be fitting for Valentine’s Day.

***

Luke and Ashton leave.

***

Michael and Calum stay for the rest of their shifts.

***

And they drive back to Calum’s after their shifts are over.

Later, when Michael is finally down from his high of a third orgasm, he remembers.

“Oh, crap, Happy Valentine’s day, Calmon.”

‘Calmon’ offers him a blank look.

“You know, Calum. Salmon. Calmon…?” Michael clarifies.

Calum rolls his eyes, “Same to you, idiot.”

“Hey, I’m not a Calmon!”

**Author's Note:**

> Did anybody like it?
> 
> Oh yeah, that was a poor first attempt at writing a blowjob scene so excuse it, please. Thanks.
> 
> And Michael acts dumb because the author herself is really crazy and all so it reflects in the writing.
> 
> EDIT:  
> Oh wow I finally have tumblr so if anyone is interested in seeing me excessively reblog 5sos stuff and spn stuff and also bitch about life you're welcome to come hang out, because you and I both know that [two wrongs make a right](http://fancythingsandgossamerwings.tumblr.com). XD
> 
> AND THIS WAS SO FUCKING RETARDED YET SO MANY PEOPLE LIKED IT. I LOVE YOU ALL. ♥


End file.
